The sound of settling...

Wild Wild West...

2008-06-13T18:25:22Z

This weekend, the majority of the citizens in Omaha became aware of a cultural phenomenon that they previously had no knowledge of. Forget "Star Trek". Forget "The X-Files". Forget "Lost". There is a television series with a fan base so vocal, so powerful, that television stations immediately crumble to their unreasonable demands. A show that even a well-respected and accomplished station like WOWT must eventually yield to. What is this TV show, you ask? "Wild Wild West"

For those of you who are so uncool and/or still living in the days of Eisenhower and John F Kennedy, "Wild Wild West" was a ground-breaking show in the late 1960s. It shattered several taboos with images of shoot-outs in the old west, wagon trains and steam engines. It featured a brilliant inventor as the sidekick and a daring gunfighter (played by the legendary Robert Conrad) as the hero, battling on behalf of the interests of Ulysses S Grant. The modern day program "24" shamelessly copied this character when creating counter-terrorist agent Jack Bauer.

And, after years of protest and an eventual march on Washington, the show was re-imagined in a feature film starring Will Smith and Kevin Klein. You may not have heard much about that film. But that happens to truly great cinema. Even "The Wizard of Oz" was critically bashed when it first opened. But in recent years, the American Film Institute saw the light and named this Will Smith epic the greatest film of all time...Usurping that distinction from "Citizen Kane".

That is the power of the "Wild Wild West" franchise. Franchise isn't the right word...The word should be mythology. The mythology of "Wild Wild West". So naturally, I was not surprised on Sunday morning when our local NBC station, WOWT, refused to interrupt an exciting and insightful episode of "Wild Wild West" with something as pitiful and miniscule as a tornado warning being issued for a city with nearly 400,000 people.

When a Severe Thunderstorm Watch was issued for Saturday night and Sunday morning, I immediately jumped to the hundreds of "Wild Wild West" message boards all over the Internet. People were already nervous. People were already panicking. People were already prepared to riot. One member "WestWildMan69" made a startling announcement (forgive his typos and grammar): "i called channel 6 and told those jerks if they interupt W.W.W. i will firebomb they're station"

So The Weather Authority over at WOWT refused to interrupt the episode, which loyal viewers know, included a pivotal moment in the saga (a guy in a cowboy hat was having a gunfight with another guy in a cowboy hat). They have taken a lot of heat for that. And that is unfair. When you are dealing with the fan base of "Wild Wild West", which, according to rumors, also controls key figures in the United States Government as well as several foreign leaders and even radical terrorist cells, you must err on the side of caution. They had no choice but to capitulate to the Wild Wild West fan base. Imagine if WOWT made a different choice...Can you picture a world without WOWT? Can you imagine a world where Mike McKnight wasn't fighting against evil establishments like dry cleaners and wedding caterers? I can't. And even trying, quite frankly, scares the hell out of me.

Stay strong Jim Flowers. Stay strong.

Love and Hates..just a few..

2008-03-15T05:28:47Z

I love you, xkcd. Always on time, always funny.

I hate you, VGCats. "Updated On Mondays," my asshole.

I love you, ebay. So many suspicious items at an incredible bargain.

I love you, Brawl. Although you're not as addictive as your big brother, Melee.

I like you, Assassin's Creed. You make me want to sneak behind people and KACHUNG. BLADE INTO NECK.

I love/hate you, money. I need you for things, but I never have you in my life. You're a bitch. You green, god damn bitch.

NO MEAT, NO BEANS!

2008-03-15T05:09:19Z

ROT IN HELL TACO BELL!!! Why does Brendalee hate taco bell? I have a strange suspicion that they don't even use real beef. This is the exact reason why when I order a taco salad, one of the only meals I'll eat at Taco Bell, I clearly and LOUDLY state, "NO BEEF OR BEANS." They always try and persuade me to get the "chicken" instead but I'm not buying that claim...chicken my ass. So they tell me my total 4.95 and if you think about it that's a pretty damn expensive salad but I happen to like the taco shell that it comes in. I pull up to the one window they have and I wait, and wait, and wait.

While I wait I make jokes to my self ha ha, they must be growing the flour that they make the little shells with. But soon the jokes aren't funny anymore and I'm getting pissed, I could have driven down across the freaking bonder and back by now...that's must be where they keep the Taco Salad stock. Then the lady comes to take my money and she's rude, "You want hot or mild sauce with that?". Please I didn't even want meat what makes you think I want some of that ranch ass sauce of yours to fuck up my salad? I say no as politely as I can and she closes her window and I wait some more, and wait and wait. My car starts to over heat and I have to turn it off. She finally reappears at the window with my order, and I take it. But see my mama didn't raise no fool so I sit there and check it to make sure there's no meat or beans. I open the box and what the hell do I see all over my salad? That shit they try to play off as beef! I have to crawl out my car's window and bang on the drive throw window. The lady that works there and is like, "WHAT?!?" Breathe Brenda breathe...I nicely say that there's wasn't suppose to be any "meat" on my salad and I assumed that I had waited there all that time because I had a special order and it took Einstein that made the Taco Salad extra time to leave off 2 of it's original contents. And what does the bitch do? She looks at me cross eyed and grabs the bag out of my hands. I climb back in window totally beyond pissed and wait some more.

By now the cars that were behind me have reversed out of the drive-through and taken their business else where probably cursing me for Taco Bell's incompetents. The lady comes back and shoves the bag in my face and I check my order a second time, no meat, praise the Lord in heaven. I drive home and when I get inside I sit down ready to eat my dinner. I shove a bit into my mouth and ::spits:: what do I find? BEANS!! I HOPE THOSE FUCKERS AT TACO BELL ROT IN HELL!! Now I could understand if this like happened once but it happens every freaking time I go there. NO MEAT NO BEANS. I know you don't need a high school diploma to work there but come on NO MEAT NO BEANS is not that hard to follow. It's so simple, put some damn grass into a little shell add some tomatoes and cheese, a little spoon full of sour cream, ta da!! It's not freaking brain surgery.